Why People Won’t Commit
Relationship Help

Why People Won’t Commit

Dating is not something that is cut and dry.  There can be complications in relationships and even if the first date is great, it doesn’t ‘mean that it won’t be confusing.

Being committed is not a dirty thing and if you are talking to someone and they are not about being serious, it can feel like no one wants to be in a real relationship.  It can be heartbreaking for you and if you have to ask someone if they want to commit or not, it can be nerve wracking and scary.  If you are on your dream job or if you are waiting for a pregnancy test, these can be things that make life even more stressful.

The good news is that you don’t have to just hook up with someone.  There are people that do want to commit and bring dating to a new level.

Sometimes, women and men will hook up with people that they are casually dating, and this can send the wrong signal.  When a guy or girl agrees to be casual, they are no more than friends with benefits and the relationship is not on a serious level.

It’s easy to be upset and aggravated with someone that doesn’t want to commit but this can also be a casual dating culture.  Sometimes, men and women want to meet someone that they have sexual chemistry with and if that makes them happy and they don’t want to be tied down, that is up to them.

Our culture allows people to have different expectations in relationships and sometimes people choose to stay single while dating and having fun just because it is enough for them.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in an honest relationship and you cannot believe that you don’t have to think that this means that your culture does not believe in dating, there just needs to be some kind of connection for you and when there is commitment, it has to go both ways.


Sometimes there are gender and sexist expectations in dating and sometimes people are afraid of being vulnerable.  If they have been hurt before, this hurt can be deep and can cause people to not want to be serious in dating.

When people don’t feel like committing, it can cause pressure on a relationship which can be gender or biological pressures.  These are all cultured factors and some people are taught that women and men need to be desired and this can be harder for there to be a relationship where everyone settles down.

Being afraid to be vulnerable because of heartbreak can cause relationships to stay casual.  People don’t always care about the pressure of being tied down and they want a relationship right now that will or will not be a committed relationship.  They want someone that they can have fun with and maybe have some communication.

There are times where you will see that dating become a priority and you want to have a real relationship.  These can come with a new life such as a job or getting older.  You must discuss these expectations with the person you are seeing and see if you are on the same path.

Be willing to communicate what you want and change if necessary.  If you are wanting a relationship and you meet someone that you feel that you could stay with, you need to keep an open mind and see if it is the right time in their life and yours.


Go into the interaction with an open mind and be willing to change if necessary.  You shouldn’t settle for someone if they aren’t willing to give you the relationship that you are hoping for and this always needs to be on your mind.

When you get into the dating scene, you will see a process and figure out how you want the relationship to feel and if dating is giving you what you want out of it.

Compare the person to your life and see if you are happy with them and comfortable with who they are.  Make sure you are ready to date again and talk about it.

Once you feel good with them, plan and talk about your relationship.  Get rid of any past situations that cause you to feel that you are not ready.  Stay positive and have an open mind.

Let opportunities come into your life where you can make a huge difference with each other.  Check out how this relationship compares to your other ones and have confidence in yourself to believe that you can have a strong relationship with someone.


Dating someone should be fun and the best thing that you can do is allow yourself to be open and vulnerable.  Even if you are uncomfortable, this will pass with time.  There will be emotional changes and shifts but they will not happen overnight.  Be ready to commit and be willing to be more open with each other.  Share your feelings.

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