The Divine Women

Everyone Deserves a Great Love Partner

Author: TheDivineWomen

Definition of a Perfect Soul mate

Definition of a Perfect Soul mate

A perfect soul mate has a love for kids. I recently met a guy called Steve. During that time, I had two daughters who needed a fatherly figure and I had hoped with Steve since I have seen him talk well to his 11 nieces.  After dating him for 3 months, I invited him over to meet my girls. They misbehaved a little bit screaming all over which made me afraid and I had to apologize on their behalf. I knew Steve was going to run away but to my surprise he even acknowledged them saying that it’s just a matter of time and they’ll be good.

His emotions are not a burden to you. I had a lot of burdens when my husband was still alive. It was hard for me to take someone’s problems into consideration. When I met Steve, he was a bachelor and hadn’t been in any long-term relationship that led to marriage although he had been in many relationships. I was surprised that he was even friends with his exes. He didn’t have a lot of burdens or anything that could hold him from dating me. He was willing to date me fully. (Baggage) check.

He’s fun. When my husband was ill, I was frustrated and distressed. When he died it became even worse, it was the most devastating moment of my life. After moving on with my life and getting over those moments, I longed for a guy who was fun, who loved going out on adventures, clubbing, and singing (loudly).  Fortunately, Steve agreed to my requests for having a nice time. (Double) check.

He’s into sex so much. Steve was ready for anything at any time, quite a number of times at night. That was really good, especially due to the fact that he was 47 years old. I, therefore, discovered that the sex drive doesn’t have any age limit. Older men are just as good as young men.  Check (themout).

He’s flexible. Picking up the kids from school at 3 pm, putting them to bed by 9 pm was really tiresome for me. My schedule was tight and being a widow I needed a man who could fit into this schedule. I did spend most of the time taking care of my partner’s needs, therefore, I needed some me time. Steve was an opera singer by profession, he traveled a lot and performed during the evenings. During the day we would go on dates which took place between 10 a.m to 2 p.m when the kids are still in school. He didn’t have any pets, therefore, used to come to my place. He was not that flexible but acknowledged me for who I am. (Reality) check.

He appreciates and loves what he does for a living. I wanted my next husband to be someone who loves his job since my dead husband used to struggle with his career and didn’t know what he wanted. Then came Steve, he loved his work and was at the top of his career, he wasn’t however paid well but he earned enough that enabled him to pay for rent and cater for his needs.  Getting married to someone who has money is good but I prefer someone who has a passion for what he does and this made everything great. Steve was in love with his job and could not imagine doing anything else. (Check)

Does Chasing Him make you Waste your Time?

Does Chasing Him make you Waste your Time?

There are quite a number of reasons that make you wonder whether you are wasting your time chasing him. These are:

  1. When you are waiting for his text 3 hours later.
  2. When you are dressed and ready to leave the house but he cancels plans the last minute.
  3. When he ignores your messages but is quick to view your story and likes your photos.

If you are in such a situation where it seems to you that you are wasting your time chasing him then you definitely are.

You are focused on the future and that’s why you are holding onto the wrong person.

Your wish is to see him come around at long last.

Your wish is that he responds to your messages.

Your wish is that he requests you out for dinner.

Your desire is that he transforms his habits and that is where we all make mistakes.

How he treats you right now is just an indication of how he will treat you tomorrow.

Nevertheless, you cannot foretell the future, that’s the reality. You cannot tell whether he will realize his mistakes and change for the better.

To you, uncertainty is a good thing. You are hopeful. However, you need to refrain from such thoughts when it comes to him.

You shouldn’t be hopeful for the future since you don’t know what it will bring. Don’t be optimistic about what the future holds.

Focus on how he’s treating you today instead of focusing on how he will treat you in the future.

You should pay attention to how you are feeling at the moment.

If that person makes you question your worth and what you deserve and always feel depressed and disappointed, its time you stop chasing him because to him you’re nothing.

Don’t waste your time chasing someone who doesn’t acknowledge you. Don’t even think they will one day change and start giving you all the attention that you deserve.

He will not treat you differently. Refrain from forgiving him all the time. Don’t be a party to his stupidity coz he will get used to it and will always call or text you to make things right again.

How he will treat you tomorrow is not a concern. Your concern should be how he is treating you today.

If you always feel bad and he is the reason why then you need to stop chasing him. he is wasting your time and taking advantage of your situation.

Looking for the Right Partner? Try These Six Insightful Tips.

Looking for the Right Partner? Try These Six Insightful Tips

Are you making the same mistakes over and over again when it comes to your relationships? Perhaps you’ve thought you’ve found the perfect match, only to break up later on in the relationship? Or maybe you keep falling the wrong type of person? First of all, it’s time to take a step back and realize that there’s no such thing as the perfect partner. Everyone has flaws. But it’s what you see in those flaws and how you handle them that can help you finally find the right partner for you.

So, let’s take a look at six tips that will help you in your search for the right partner.

Find a Person You Can Really Talk to

Communication is the key to any successful relationship. And you’ve got to be able to talk with each other should disagreements arise. But it’s also important that the two of you are also able to talk about everything and anything. Being open and honest through communication and being able to easily talk to each other is a positive sign that you’ve found the right person for you.

Avoid Those Mr. And Mrs. Wrongs

If you’ve been on the dating scene for a while now, you’ve more than likely figured out the types of people that are just wrong for you. Whether it be a toxic personality or a look that you don’t find attractive, don’t fall back into the pattern of choosing a Mr. Or Mrs. Wrong simply because you’re feeling lonely. It’s time to think more of yourself and never settle. Get rid of those negative notions and focus on what you’re truly looking for in a partner.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Look for a partner that will make you laugh. They don’t have to be a comedian or anything, but a sense of humor is always a huge plus. If he or she can make you laugh, then you’re more likely to take things a little less seriously, get your mind off of stressful and emotional difficulties, and allow yourself to just have fun!

Keep in Mind the Deal-Breakers

This is another tip reminding you that it’s never okay to settle. This is especially true if you have any deal-breakers in mind when it comes to having a relationship with another person. Perhaps a deal-breaker would be a person who smokes. If you can’t stand smoking, but decide to date someone who smokes, chances are that’s going to cause issues down the road. So, it’s best to be up front with each other from the start so that if any of your deal-breakers come up in the conversation, you’ll be able to steer clear of entering into a relationship with that person.

Don’t Forget That Opposites Attract

It may be an old-time cliché, but it still proves to be true in some relationship instances. So, don’t write off a potential partner right off the bat just because the two of you seem to be complete opposites. Keep the lines of communication open. You may just find that you have some common ground after all, or that your strengths and weakness may compliment his or her strengths and weaknesses.

Don’t Rush into Things

Take your time. Don’t be afraid to spend the time necessary to really get to know on another before making an important decision within your relationship. If it’s truly meant to be, and if you’ve truly found the right person, there’s no need to rush it. A good relationship will grow and get better with age. So, don’t be afraid to take it slow and allow the love to grow with the relationship.

Hard Time Dealing with Invasive Questions

Having a Hard Time Dealing with Invasive Questions? Try These 5 Helpful Tips

The holiday season can be a joyous time. Filled with love, gathering with your loved ones, sharing meals…and sometimes, unfortunately, having to ward off awkward conversations and invasive questions that really shouldn’t be anyone else’s business. Having to answer invasive questions from family members can make the annual holiday celebrations dreaded events. Some might even consider opting out of the family get togethers all together to avoid having to be constantly grilled on topics that are uncomfortable or private in nature. However, you don’t have to let your family’s invasive inquisitions deter you from spending the holidays together. Instead, here are five helpful tips to consider to help you get through those invasive questions, and maybe even put them to rest once and for all.

Come Prepared with a Plan

Since it’s your family you’re going to be dealing with, you probably already have a good idea of who will be the ones to get nosey and ask you invasive questions. In fact, they may be the ones who seemingly do it every year. So, this time, come prepared. Think back to the questions you’ve been asked before and come up with plausible responses to those questions. That way, you won’t be stumbling for answers and you’ll be prepared instead of most likely getting defensive towards your family members. If it’s not a question you feel inclined to answer, then think of a witty response that will end that line of questioning.

Recruit Yourself an Ally

You’re probably not the only one in the family facing invasive questions from other family members during the holidays. So, it’s always a good idea to enlist the help of someone to help thwart or retort those questions. Whether it’s a sibling, a cousin, or even a partner you’ve brought along, make sure they know what’s going on. That way you can rely on one another for support and have someone to defend you if the questions are getting to be too much.

Answer the Questions Directly…within Reason

That doesn’t mean you have to give everything away when answering a question. It simply means you can give direct but vague responses that deflect from the topic at hand. This tactic will help shift the focus off of those invasive questions you’re reluctant to answer but will give the family members doing the asking some satisfaction that you’re engaging and conversing with them.

Don’t be Afraid of Deflection

It’s okay to tell your family members that you’re just not comfortable with answering a specific question. Whether it’s when are you planning on finally getting married to are you ever going to have children, sometimes certain questions just shouldn’t be open for discussion, especially if they hit a nerve or trigger negative emotions. So, don’t be afraid of deflecting from the question or outright refusing to answer. And if you need to, get up and walk away. The family member will then surely get the hint not to keep prying into your personal life.

Don’t Tolerate Offensive Remarks

Not every family member you have is going to be polite and well-behaved. Some can be outright rude and not care about offensive remarks or highly invasive questions. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground and stand up for your principles if you think a question or comment is out of line. Chances are, you won’t be the only one thinking the same thing. This is especially the case if you find a personal question too invasive. It’s okay to defend yourself and put your foot down, letting that family member know that their remarks won’t be tolerated.

Family gatherings don’t have to be stressful and cause anxiety just because you dread having to answer invasive questions. But with a bit of preparation and a sense of self-worth, you’ll be able to stand up to your family and hopefully finally put an end to those questions you’d rather not answer, alleviating your stress and making the holidays much more enjoyable.

Seven Signs Your Insecurities are Affecting Your Relationship

We all have our insecure moments- we worry about how we look, if we’re doing a good job at work, or if we’re doing enough to support the people around us. Our insecurities can cause us to doubt ourselves and it can affect how we perceive the world around us. Additionally, our insecurities can cause trouble in our relationships with the people around us.

We’re all human, and none of us are perfect. If we have insecurities, though, we need to be aware of how our insecurities can influence our partners and our behavior in that relationship. Some of our insecurities are buried pretty deep, and we might not recognize our difficulties as stemming from something we are insecure about.

We can all be insecure, jealous, or paranoid in relationships. We want to make sure that we have a handle on our partner and that they aren’t going off and breaking the rules of the relationship you’ve set up for yourselves. Being possessive isn’t the world’s worst trait, but it can start to weigh on a relationship if it gets out of hand. Having these relationship insecurities isn’t a bad thing but acting on them can be.

Insecurities become highly negative when they cause you to change your behavior or your perspective in your relationship.

Here are seven ways that your insecurities could influence your relationship:

  1. You have difficulty trusting.

Trust is an essential building block of a successful relationship. Mutual trust means being open and communicative with one another and trusting one another to look out for you, in good and bad times.

It can be difficult if your insecurities cause you to shut down emotionally when trouble brews in your relationship. Being unable to open up to your partner can stifle the trust you need to build together.

  1. Your insecurities cause negative thoughts and behaviors.

We all have negative thoughts, but do we always act on them? In a relationship a constant stream of negative mental energy can cause you to act out towards your partner. You might think that you aren’t good enough for your partner and start to sabotage your relationship, even unconsciously.

  1. You compare yourself to their ex’s.

Comparison is the death of joy, and this goes for life as well as relationships. If you constantly compare yourself to your partner’s ex’s, you’ll find yourself wondering if you are living up to the expectations your partner has. Rather than discussing your insecurities with your partner, you sit and compare yourself to people you may have never even met. Remember, your partner is with you, not with anyone they’ve dated prior to you.

  1. You require constant reassurance from your partner.

We all need a little reminder now and again that our partners love and appreciate us. However, if you find yourself constantly needing your partner to validate your relationship, your insecurities might be getting in the way. Their lack of patience with your neediness could validate your insecurities, causing a negative spiral.

  1. You need your partner to make you feel like you’re enough.

Whether you are single or happily partnered, there’s one thing that’s for certain- you are enough, no matter what your life circumstances are. With or without a partner, you need to make sure that you are taking care of your own health and happiness instead of relying on someone else. Don’t let your insecurities make you feel less than the best you can be.

  1. The distance gets wider.

All relationships go through periods of time where you both feel distant from one another. In addition to physical closeness, you also experience emotional connectedness with the person you are in a relationship with. These bonds can wax and wane at different times, but don’t let your insecurities get in the way of your relationship bouncing back better than before.

If you are feeling distant in your relationship, do your best to communicate with your partner about your frustrations. You both might find that you are experiencing similar things and can come up with a solution together.

  1. You over-analyze your partner.

Insecurity can cause you to over-analyze everything your partner says and does. If you always assume the worst of your partner, eventually they will start to live up to your low expectations. Your insecurities are causing you to read too much into your partner’s words and actions; your relationship becomes more about figuring out what your partner is trying to say rather than enjoying the time you’re spending with them.

In the end, it’s important to not let insecurities take over your life. We all deal with our own insecurities, but it’s important to remain open and honest with your partner so that your relationship doesn’t suffer the weight of unshared insecurities.

How to Get Past a Relationship Rut

If you’ve been in a relationship for a longer period of time, you know that things aren’t the same as they were when you first started dating. After the honeymoon period is over, couples often find it difficult to keep the spark alive, even if they are very much still in love. As a relationship goes on you grow and change with one another, which can sometimes lead to low points in your relationship with one another.

Here are a few signs that you might be in a relationship rut and how to get out of it without losing your partner:

  1. Spending time together feels like a chore.

When you spend as much time together as you do with your partner, it can seem like there is nothing new to learn about one another. After you’ve gotten all of your ‘firsts’ out of the way, it might feel like your relationship is stagnating. Couple time might now mean feeling obligated to come up with an activity to do together, rather than genuinely enjoying one another’s company.

If you find yourself in this rut, take a step back. Do you need to do something for your partner that shows you still care? When was the last time you let them go out to do something they enjoyed, or when you both went out to do something new together?

By investing time into your relationship, you can rebuild the foundations of your love slowly but surely. You don’t have to be stuck in a rut; put in the effort to get to know your partner for who they are right now.

  1. You compare your relationship to others’.

Comparison is the death of joy. By comparing your relationship to other peoples’, especially on social media, it can seem like you are lightyears behind where you want to be. Remember that other people are showing you the good sides of their relationships, and not the daily nitty-gritty that we all go through. No one’s relationship is perfect, so don’t think that yours needs to be.

  1. Face-to-face communication is lacking.

Technology is great, but it does keep us from fully engaging with the people around us. If you find yourself texting your partner more than you talk to them in person, this is a red flag. If you need to, turn your home into a tech-free zone for an hour or two a night. Encourage yourselves to have conversations and entertain one another, rather than relying on your phone to do all the work.

  1. You turn to others for help, not your partner.

This is one of the biggest red flags in a relationship. Of course, we all need trusted friends and family members to confide in, especially with information about our relationships. However, if you find yourself seeking the company of another person, especially of the opposite sex, to talk about your relationship with, you’re treading on thin ice. You need to talk about your relationship problems with the person it concerns the most- your partner.

  1. Physical intimacy is a thing of the past.

All relationships go through lulls where you find yourself not engaging with your partner on a physical level. If this goes on for too long, though, both parties can become unhappy in a relationship. Discuss with your partner why you might be having these kinds of issues, whether you both are busy, tired, or are having your own personal confidence lull that has nothing to do with the relationship. By communicating with your partner you can open other doors to figuring out how to put the spark back in your relationship.

  1. You fantasize about other people.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. When our partner really irks us or gets on our nerves, we might wonder what it would be like to be with someone else. Even if you do daydream about another person or a new relationship, realize that that new person comes with their own flaws and irritating quirks, too.

To get out of this relationship rut, concentrate on the things you do love and appreciate about your partner. Remember why you fell in love with them in the first place and be grateful for the relationship you both have.

Love & Relationship Psychics & Advice

Dealing with Love Anxiety

Many of us struggle with anxiety. We are worried and stressed about our lives, our jobs, our families, our relationships, our money, and so much more. Our relationships bring us anxiety when they are going well and we don’t want the good feelings to end, and when they are going poorly and we are trying to figure out if we should fix it or leave.

Relationship stress can affect more than just your relationship- anxiety can lead to dips in your physical, mental, and emotional health. When we are in a relationship we are partnered with another person who is flawed and occasionally wrong, just like we are. It can be hard to be treated badly by someone we love so much.

If your relationship is causing you anxiety, you have a few questions to ask yourself. One is if this relationship is worth the stress or not. Stress and feelings of anxiety can mean that something isn’t right; you have an obligation to search for the answers, even if they are unpleasant.

Three common relationship situations that can cause anxiety are:

  1. Feelings of disconnect with your partner.

Anxiety can cause you to feel out of balance in your relationship. You might feel like you and your partner aren’t communicating as well as you used to, or that you are operating on different levels. Your relationship rhythm is out of sync, and you might not know how to get it back in line.

This kind of anxiety points to a need to refocus on your relationship. Work on making time to spend just with your partner- no phones, no technology, and nobody around you. Talk, have fun together, and rebuild the foundation you have together.

Relationships require attention that is often taken away because of kids, jobs, other family situations, and general life stress. It’s important to not let your relationship fall to the wayside.

  1. You misunderstand one another.

You might be flustered by a lack of communication, listening, and understanding in your relationship. Our partners can’t read our minds, but after so much time together you might wonder how they can still get things so wrong sometimes. This doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t know you; it just means that you have to be clearer with what you want and need.

Misunderstandings can mean that you need to spend more time with your partner and really invest in one another. Foster the connections that brought you together in the first place. Nurture one another and grow together through this tough time.

  1. You worry more than usual.

Worry happens in a relationship. We worry about our partners, which is part of being in a relationship. We worry about their happiness, if they still love us, and if you’ll still be together in a few years.

These feelings can mean that there are underlying issues in your relationship that you need to think about. Worry isn’t always a bad thing, and it can be used to improve your relationship. Anxiety in your body is telling you to pay attention to your relationship.

In the end, anxiety, stress, and worry don’t spell the end of a relationship. In fact, it can be the opposite- anxiety can point you to ways in which you can strengthen your relationship rather than ditch it. Make sure that you and your partner are not ignoring or misunderstanding your anxiety, but rather working together to fix it.

#1 Relationship Psychics | Does He Really Love You?‎

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