We all have our insecure moments- we worry about how we look, if we’re doing a good job at work, or if we’re doing enough to support the people around us. Our insecurities can cause us to doubt ourselves and it can affect how we perceive the world around us. Additionally, our insecurities can cause trouble in our relationships with the people around us.
We’re all human, and none of us are perfect. If we have insecurities, though, we need to be aware of how our insecurities can influence our partners and our behavior in that relationship. Some of our insecurities are buried pretty deep, and we might not recognize our difficulties as stemming from something we are insecure about.
We can all be insecure, jealous, or paranoid in relationships. We want to make sure that we have a handle on our partner and that they aren’t going off and breaking the rules of the relationship you’ve set up for yourselves. Being possessive isn’t the world’s worst trait, but it can start to weigh on a relationship if it gets out of hand. Having these relationship insecurities isn’t a bad thing but acting on them can be.
Insecurities become highly negative when they cause you to change your behavior or your perspective in your relationship.
Here are seven ways that your insecurities could influence your relationship:
- You have difficulty trusting.
Trust is an essential building block of a successful relationship. Mutual trust means being open and communicative with one another and trusting one another to look out for you, in good and bad times.
It can be difficult if your insecurities cause you to shut down emotionally when trouble brews in your relationship. Being unable to open up to your partner can stifle the trust you need to build together.
- Your insecurities cause negative thoughts and behaviors.
We all have negative thoughts, but do we always act on them? In a relationship a constant stream of negative mental energy can cause you to act out towards your partner. You might think that you aren’t good enough for your partner and start to sabotage your relationship, even unconsciously.
- You compare yourself to their ex’s.
Comparison is the death of joy, and this goes for life as well as relationships. If you constantly compare yourself to your partner’s ex’s, you’ll find yourself wondering if you are living up to the expectations your partner has. Rather than discussing your insecurities with your partner, you sit and compare yourself to people you may have never even met. Remember, your partner is with you, not with anyone they’ve dated prior to you.
- You require constant reassurance from your partner.
We all need a little reminder now and again that our partners love and appreciate us. However, if you find yourself constantly needing your partner to validate your relationship, your insecurities might be getting in the way. Their lack of patience with your neediness could validate your insecurities, causing a negative spiral.
- You need your partner to make you feel like you’re enough.
Whether you are single or happily partnered, there’s one thing that’s for certain- you are enough, no matter what your life circumstances are. With or without a partner, you need to make sure that you are taking care of your own health and happiness instead of relying on someone else. Don’t let your insecurities make you feel less than the best you can be.
- The distance gets wider.
All relationships go through periods of time where you both feel distant from one another. In addition to physical closeness, you also experience emotional connectedness with the person you are in a relationship with. These bonds can wax and wane at different times, but don’t let your insecurities get in the way of your relationship bouncing back better than before.
If you are feeling distant in your relationship, do your best to communicate with your partner about your frustrations. You both might find that you are experiencing similar things and can come up with a solution together.
- You over-analyze your partner.
Insecurity can cause you to over-analyze everything your partner says and does. If you always assume the worst of your partner, eventually they will start to live up to your low expectations. Your insecurities are causing you to read too much into your partner’s words and actions; your relationship becomes more about figuring out what your partner is trying to say rather than enjoying the time you’re spending with them.
In the end, it’s important to not let insecurities take over your life. We all deal with our own insecurities, but it’s important to remain open and honest with your partner so that your relationship doesn’t suffer the weight of unshared insecurities.