The objection of your affections seems to say all the right things, but they don’t always show up when you need them most. How can you know for sure that someone who claims that they love you in fact truly does? We have compiled a list of ten ways you can identify when someone isn’t really in love with you.
1. Lack of outreach: When your partner is slow to initiate contact or slow to respond to a text, it’s a clear signal they aren’t prioritizing you. Real love is like a dance where each partner takes turns leading the flow of communication and quality time together.
2. Unresponsiveness: Does it seem like forever until they return your call or text? They may apologize for any delay, but if this is a recurring pattern it can indicate they aren’t valuing your time or attention.
3. All talk, no action: If they just talk about the future and never follow through it is a clear indicator that they aren’t serious about you or your romance.
4. Lack of follow through: Your partner may talk the talk, but they are constantly breaking your heart. It seems like there is an excuse for everything. Know that you are worthy of someone’s full attention and effort rather than their leftover energy.
5. Tells you how they expect you to be: No one have the right to govern your thoughts or emotions except for you! If you are frustrated by a cancelled date and they take you to relax, this is not okay. It doesn’t matter if they think you are overreacting, you both should be able to work through misunderstandings together. If they can’t be a partner to you, then it shows that they aren’t valuing your feelings or thoughts.
6. Pulls the disappearing act: It seems like no matter how hard you try; they are always too busy to get together with you or back out of dates at the last minute. Love is built on finding a way and time to be present with each other. No matter how wonderful a person may seem if they aren’t willing to make time for you means they aren’t truly ready for a relationship. You can’t have a lasting and fulfilling love with a ghost.
7. They burn hot and cold: Sometimes it feels like they are involved in your life and everything is clicking. Other times you both are having major blow out fights and on the verge of breaking up. Maybe you guys are addicted to makeup sex, but you shouldn’t have to deal with this level of drama in your life. Consider the fear is causing the hot and cold fluctuations. You may be thinking there is no one better out there for you, but prioritize your wellbeing and know you deserve a healthy and stable type of love.
8. Lack of respect: There are many ways that a person can show you that they don’t truly love and respect you. Their jokes may come across condescending and cruel. They may minimize your goals and interests. They may dismiss your beliefs, emotions and goals. These are signs they don’t truly love you. Lack of respect can also present as an inability to fight fair or silence your voice during moments when you are trying work through some difficulty. Respect is paramount to having a loving and healthy relationship.
9. Pick fights: You guys are having a quiet evening at home and then suddenly you find yourself in a fight for no reason. You may feel like you are constantly walking around on eggshells never knowing when they are going to have an intense reaction. Sure, its wonderful when you getting along, but conflict can spring up almost instantaneously. This is not a healthy relationship and you might want to consider breaking up with them.
10. You have never met any of his loved ones: It can be fun to live on a romance bubble, but it can only last for so long. When one is happy and in love a person gets eager to introduce their love to the special people in their life. You should be someone that they are proud of to show off in public! If you have been together for a while and they still haven’t introduced you to anyone there is a big reason. Most likely, they are already in a relationship and you are the side piece. Being kept a secret should send up big red flags that they don’t truly love you. Don’t find it sweet and charming, ask them pointedly why you haven’t met anyone in their life. If you don’t get a plan made or receive a clear answer, you should know something is amiss and perhaps its time to walk away.
If you begin to one or more of these signs, acknowledge the red flags in your relationship. Be brave and confront the concerns head on. Knowing and addressing an issue as soon as possible is the healthy path forward for you. The faster you can process this information and create a plan to move on, the closer you will get to enjoy the type of love you deserve.