Relationships sometimes fall into unhealthy patterns that we repeat without recognizing the true issue. It does not have to be this way or remain this way if we are willing to make a few changes. This applies to friendships and romantic relationships to make sure you can break the negative patterns. Even though it seems like there is an endless version of the same relationships, possibly as our destiny, we can break the subconscious patterns in our lives and relationships.
Deep down, we are trying to fulfill some desire with bad patterns, but we are capable of breaking them.
Included below are five ways to challenge those patterns that are likely unhealthy and often repeated:
Forgiveness for Self
We play a huge part in our own bad relationships, even if we do not first recognize it. We may eventually start to wonder what is wrong with us and worry it will never get better. This negative self-talk is unhealthy and robs us of healing power. This is not totally our fault as the subconscious can take us to dark places. We must recognize this in order to dig our way out.
To start improving, forgive yourself. This includes all the times you have entered a relationship that was unhealthy and left you feeling, unnoticed, hurt, and unworthy. Also forgive yourself for the times you may have hurt others in relationships. This is the first step in creating a new pattern for the future. Let go of the past so you are free to go forward.
Understanding the Patterns
Once you have forgiven yourself, you can start the work toward correcting the patterns. If the pattern has been noted in multiple relationships, then identify the key traits and characteristics. Write them out so they can be analyzed and warning signs identified. Now consider what led you into those triggering relationships and what you had hoped to gain from them. If it was simply familiarity, then it is time to try something new. Understanding the patterns are necessary to break them, so be brutally honest.
In the above step you identified warning signs, this is important. When you recognize your warnings then as soon as they are felt or seen you can step back and reassess. Some warnings may look attractive, like intense relationships, but these can end badly as they become possessive and overwhelming. Know your personal warnings so you are not trapped by them.
Many problems occur because we do not know what is wanted or needed. Describe a perfect relationship in detail so you know what you are looking for in time. Focus on both actions and feelings. Maybe you want peace, maybe closeness, perhaps adventure. Whatever you desire, put it at the top of the list and focus on relationships that provide.
Do not fear new relationships because each teaches us new lessons and ignites new desires. Learn to live, love, and even make mistakes. Gain from the lessons you have learned and reflect on what can be improved or changed. Then take steps forward.
With these simple steps, you can untangle the threads that create bad relationships in your life. This will lead to the person that fits you most.