If you’ve been in a relationship for a longer period of time, you know that things aren’t the same as they were when you first started dating. After the honeymoon period is over, couples often find it difficult to keep the spark alive, even if they are very much still in love. As a relationship goes on you grow and change with one another, which can sometimes lead to low points in your relationship with one another.
Here are a few signs that you might be in a relationship rut and how to get out of it without losing your partner:
- Spending time together feels like a chore.
When you spend as much time together as you do with your partner, it can seem like there is nothing new to learn about one another. After you’ve gotten all of your ‘firsts’ out of the way, it might feel like your relationship is stagnating. Couple time might now mean feeling obligated to come up with an activity to do together, rather than genuinely enjoying one another’s company.
If you find yourself in this rut, take a step back. Do you need to do something for your partner that shows you still care? When was the last time you let them go out to do something they enjoyed, or when you both went out to do something new together?
By investing time into your relationship, you can rebuild the foundations of your love slowly but surely. You don’t have to be stuck in a rut; put in the effort to get to know your partner for who they are right now.
- You compare your relationship to others’.
Comparison is the death of joy. By comparing your relationship to other peoples’, especially on social media, it can seem like you are lightyears behind where you want to be. Remember that other people are showing you the good sides of their relationships, and not the daily nitty-gritty that we all go through. No one’s relationship is perfect, so don’t think that yours needs to be.
- Face-to-face communication is lacking.
Technology is great, but it does keep us from fully engaging with the people around us. If you find yourself texting your partner more than you talk to them in person, this is a red flag. If you need to, turn your home into a tech-free zone for an hour or two a night. Encourage yourselves to have conversations and entertain one another, rather than relying on your phone to do all the work.
- You turn to others for help, not your partner.
This is one of the biggest red flags in a relationship. Of course, we all need trusted friends and family members to confide in, especially with information about our relationships. However, if you find yourself seeking the company of another person, especially of the opposite sex, to talk about your relationship with, you’re treading on thin ice. You need to talk about your relationship problems with the person it concerns the most- your partner.
- Physical intimacy is a thing of the past.
All relationships go through lulls where you find yourself not engaging with your partner on a physical level. If this goes on for too long, though, both parties can become unhappy in a relationship. Discuss with your partner why you might be having these kinds of issues, whether you both are busy, tired, or are having your own personal confidence lull that has nothing to do with the relationship. By communicating with your partner you can open other doors to figuring out how to put the spark back in your relationship.
- You fantasize about other people.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. When our partner really irks us or gets on our nerves, we might wonder what it would be like to be with someone else. Even if you do daydream about another person or a new relationship, realize that that new person comes with their own flaws and irritating quirks, too.
To get out of this relationship rut, concentrate on the things you do love and appreciate about your partner. Remember why you fell in love with them in the first place and be grateful for the relationship you both have.