Many of us struggle with anxiety. We are worried and stressed about our lives, our jobs, our families, our relationships, our money, and so much more. Our relationships bring us anxiety when they are going well and we don’t want the good feelings to end, and when they are going poorly and we are trying to figure out if we should fix it or leave.
Relationship stress can affect more than just your relationship- anxiety can lead to dips in your physical, mental, and emotional health. When we are in a relationship we are partnered with another person who is flawed and occasionally wrong, just like we are. It can be hard to be treated badly by someone we love so much.
If your relationship is causing you anxiety, you have a few questions to ask yourself. One is if this relationship is worth the stress or not. Stress and feelings of anxiety can mean that something isn’t right; you have an obligation to search for the answers, even if they are unpleasant.
Three common relationship situations that can cause anxiety are:
Feelings of disconnect with your partner.
Anxiety can cause you to feel out of balance in your relationship. You might feel like you and your partner aren’t communicating as well as you used to, or that you are operating on different levels. Your relationship rhythm is out of sync, and you might not know how to get it back in line.
This kind of anxiety points to a need to refocus on your relationship. Work on making time to spend just with your partner- no phones, no technology, and nobody around you. Talk, have fun together, and rebuild the foundation you have together.
Relationships require attention that is often taken away because of kids, jobs, other family situations, and general life stress. It’s important to not let your relationship fall to the wayside.
You misunderstand one another.
You might be flustered by a lack of communication, listening, and understanding in your relationship. Our partners can’t read our minds, but after so much time together you might wonder how they can still get things so wrong sometimes. This doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t know you; it just means that you have to be clearer with what you want and need.
Misunderstandings can mean that you need to spend more time with your partner and really invest in one another. Foster the connections that brought you together in the first place. Nurture one another and grow together through this tough time.
You worry more than usual.
Worry happens in a relationship. We worry about our partners, which is part of being in a relationship. We worry about their happiness, if they still love us, and if you’ll still be together in a few years.
These feelings can mean that there are underlying issues in your relationship that you need to think about. Worry isn’t always a bad thing, and it can be used to improve your relationship. Anxiety in your body is telling you to pay attention to your relationship.
In the end, anxiety, stress, and worry don’t spell the end of a relationship. In fact, it can be the opposite- anxiety can point you to ways in which you can strengthen your relationship rather than ditch it. Make sure that you and your partner are not ignoring or misunderstanding your anxiety, but rather working together to fix it.